Want to see more like this?
Challenges are a given in our lives. Every person will have to deal with something that feels heavy or difficult. Some might say that it’s how you handle hard things that makes the difference. Others might say it’s what you learn from them that matters. I don’t disagree with either. What I know is that finding joy amidst the challenges is what helps us manage them and learn from them.
You might be tempted to label that “toxic positivity”. It isn’t. There’s a huge difference between finding joy in spite of tough experiences and the “fake it ’til you make it” kind of denial when hard things require attention. Feelings have to be felt and experienced. That’s why they’re called feelings. But having a grounded perspective through challenges helps us move through them in a healthy way. More importantly, learning to see the landscape of life clearly instead of through the dark lens of suffering can train the nervous system to respond to stress productively, which allows us to develop and build trust in ourselves and in the world.
Growing up I assumed that the words “joy” and “happy” were interchangeable. Eventually, I learned that wasn’t the case. Happy is temporary; momentary. It can be fleeting and largely dependent on events, circumstances, and the people who surround us. I can feel happy one minute and not happy the next. Clearly, happy moments are meaningful and worth pursuing – happy people make better decisions – but when I think of happy it feels a little like a butterfly; beautiful, but evanescent.
Joy, on the other hand, is profound. It is deep and abides even through difficulty. Joy lives in the Heart Center where it can grow when we allow. Joy is a foundation for living rather than an ambition of life. For someone to live in joy there must be a rich expansion of self-acceptance, an open and honest heart, and a pervasive intention to not only be the experiencer of life, but the witness who can accept and see it with clarity.
Joy is inner peace that comes from a sweeping trust that everything has purpose.
Joy lives dormant for some as they experience crises because, as we have been taught to believe, challenges demand focus. Because of this, many of us live in extreme anguish during crises and it feels impossible not to be completely absorbed by it. Because it feels big and we tend to jump into crisis mode immediately in order to solve it, that focus makes the problem the center of consciousness. Our energy moves to that location and we forget the tools we’ve learned to manage stress. Our bodies become engaged in the emergency of the moment. Over time, the problem can become chronic, leading to a nervous system that is constantly in overdrive; everything feels urgent. No less than any addiction because the nervous system becomes hyper-vigilant, eventually working against us instead of for us because it’s “used to” stress. It actually trains itself to seek out stress. What used to feel overwhelming turns into fight or flight, and then to survival mode.
At this point, the pituitary gland is overworked, telling the hormone centers in the body (especially the adrenals) to give more than they can realistically. Adrenal fatigue, hypo- and hyperthyroidism, an overload and eventual depletion of estrogen, progesterone, testosterone, and the inability to absorb nutrition, minerals and amino acids. And that’s just the short list. Think about behavior modification in times of stress. More caffeine (the most convenient forms), less water, more dealing with what’s urgent, less productive engagement with tasks and the things that bring us joy and fulfillment, more reacting, less responding, more tired, less energy, more triggered, less reasoning, more convenient foods, less intentional movement, more engaging and less observing. The big picture? A prolonged imbalance due to crisis mode behaviors is the biggest challenge to come back from.
Back to the first paragraph. Everyone will experience stress, big stress and small. Long periods perhaps, and short more manageable events. The difference becomes when we take breaks from it, realizing that doing so is part of not just coping, but solving stress and harmonizing its frequencies with those that create joy, happiness, and the beauty we see in our lives. Just being aware of those things can be difficult when our world turns upside down. Remember, what you focus on becomes bigger, more prevalent, and more accessible. So focus on joy during challenges, even if it’s only for a few minutes a day. Here are 10 ways to bring more joy to your life:
This might feel like a big ask, especially if what’s happening is unpleasant. Returning to a life of ease happens faster and more completely when we give ourselves time to look over the benefit of going through difficult things. Having hard conversations, seeing things from other perspectives, accepting and observing the challenge without the emotion, can help us see what is happening honestly. It can also move us to a better place where we know what has to be healed in us. Humans can bury things pretty deep and the frequency of what’s buried can’t hide from attracting experiences that have that same frequency – that’s the nature of energy. Be mindful of what you’re creating even out of habit. Be aware of impatience, triggers, reactions, outbursts, and most of all, where those things are actually coming from. Don’t try to push past it because it’s uncomfortable. Learn to lean in, give space, be present.
Unburying feelings so that they can be validated and cleared can be the healthy result of complex experiences.
Once we accept where we are, embrace the opportunity to grow, and be open to releasing the challenge, then we can create space for something new. In the meantime, fill any available space with joy so that joy becomes your home state of being. Once that happens, every part of you will know exactly how to find it, no matter what you might go through.
©2021 palm coaching // site design by mesmerizing designs // powered by showit
blog categories
personal posts
client stories
workouts
recipies
easy tips
page navigation
// @usernamehere
Follow along for daily home inspiration and easy tips! Also behind the scenes of what goes into a project!
Follow along for daily inspiration and easy tips!
Also behind the scenes of what goes into our services!
I'm on insta